FlirtClub - Safe Heaven for the Practicioners of the Ways of the Flirt :D

To Flirt or not to Flirt? How is that even a question?  

Soooo....this forum has long ago transgressed from just being about exchanging opinions on SW and ReyLo and moved towards a place of intercultural exchanges on many levels....this thread is envisioned as a place where you can explore strange new worlds and seek out new life and new civilizations....boldly (very important for succesful flirting) go where many have gone before....in the ways of the Flirt In line with the PG-13 guidelines of this Forum, ofc....the best kind of flirtation is the one that dances around the line, never crossing it, publicly, imo

Now....one may ask what does SW have to do with Flirt? Have you seen TFA? And liked it? That movie is all about undisclosed sexual tension, a very base and driving force of the flirt....Every line of Kylo Ren, for example, is pure gold....applicable for manipulation in an interesting conversation....You know I can take whatever I want Yeah

What I am interested to do here, besides making a fun thread cuz fun is very important to me, is to hear:
1. What are your thoughts on Flirting? Yay or Nay?
2. With what pick up lines have you been hit on that made lasting impression on you (for what ever reason: cuz they were good....or cuz they were bad)
3. Do you have any favorite things you like to say or focus on while practicing the art known as seduction? Will you share?
4. Discuss the morality (or if you'd like better the term social acceptability) of it in the context of every day man-women relations

Pass judgement here freely, all are welcome as always are in the threads made by me, but do try not to offend anyone....insults are the last resort of a beaten man left with no arguments...

And maybe we can establish some rules....since it is a Club and all (this list will get populated with time when ever I get a new idea, feel free to offer sugestions):
The First Rule of FC is to TALK about the FC.....conversation is the primary  modus operandi when it comes to flirting ...

Half the credit for creation of this thread goes to @helix since his (lack of ) flirting skills made me think of creating it....I'm kidding, man....can't be serious ALL the time!!!

i tend to come across as flirtatious when i don't want to be. will you help me?

I am a flirt...no sith?
And I do consider it to be a fun means of interaction and of exchange of opinions between two interested parties...I am straight white female so in my posts here I will limit my view of the 'interested parties' to man-woman relationships....what by all means DOES NOT mean that i consider flirting limited to only that....it's a free world (at least in "the west" and at least mostly)

I use it often....the flirting, I mean....not men! But I am not flirting all the time and certainly not with every man I meet....there are many reasons for that....
First I don't flirt at work....it can get messy and complicated because of the fact that not all people take it as carefree fun like I do....most like to pass silly judgments and hold resentment if for some reason they are excluded from the fun...so...my advice....dont mix business with pleasure (if you can)...there is wisdom behind that has been proven in practice by more experienced people than I...
Also....surprisingly....not many witty men among the smart people of Academia...or self confident...which in itself is a subject worthy of prolonged discussion....

With that in mind I must state that I don't think that there are some places that are to be reserved for flirting...it is something that comes naturally to me in a number of different ocassions...however lately I found out that public online forums are a particularly nice place for it
I think it has something to do with the fact that most people tend to be more of themselves when are, ironically, hiding behind the relative annonimity of a public user profile....I must say I think that hiding your true colors is a sad truth in real life of modern societies (that too is a subject wirthy if prolonged discussion) but I, by no means want to pass judgment on you who do it, since I have kinda spent the last 12 years or so of my life doing exactly that and such a thing would make me a hypocrite...which I try to run away from with abhorrence...that said, it doesn't mean the reasons for it (hiding your true self) are not to be explored....publicly too....cuz some might find understanding for their own behavior in explanations provided by others, resulting in them feeling less disassociated with the people of the world what imo is the primary cause if the hiding one true self....

That's it for this morning....I have many thoughts on the subject...I will share later more

guardienne wrote:i tend to come across as flirtatious when i don't want to be. will you help me?

@guardienne

Yes....Anything...just don't kill me....

This what you have said about you is so true Frared....I actually thought you were a man before I got to know you based on the things you wrote in the 1195 pages long thread where we met
You leave the impression of a highly intelligent hypersensitive individual that understands irony and sarcasm but still manages to have a very naive...or better,  innocent view of the world and human interactions...so much so that most of the times I couldn't decide whether you do it unintentionally or it was a product of a deliberate action....for me that opposition in the ways I understand and take in others is what makes someone an interesting person....
Opposing characteristics lead to intrigue...that leads to interest....that leads to desire to interact...that inevitable leads to flirting....at least for me....but since you have that problem in general (coming out flirtatious when you don't wanna be) I would say with others too...

@kylo ren you are auch a scientist i don't think flirting anywhere is a problem unless you misread signals and then it all goes south. sometimes i smile at people because they amuse me or whatever, and for a lot of them that's an invitation and it's confusing but then i think nobody is smiling anymore, everyone is buried in their smartphones and stuff. this makes me feel very old school.

it's easy to be misunderstood when only writing. but it's also weirdly easy to project a certain persona. so i understand that this is what i do and i shape the writing to do that, but also i want the writing to be *me* and then it gets confusing. the version of me that is bestest to be on a message board.

so, i'm deliberately being unintentional. ha.

Yes....and frared that is such an innocent thing i talked about earlier....but you also do it on purpose....sometimes...like using the line of a most sexy man in a cinematography ever  in stating your unintentionality with "will you help me?" Hah...i rest my case

I am a chemical engineer dammit....that does science

Hmmm...I haven't flirted in a long time, probably because I'm married.  My husband and I don't flirt; we just act like 9 year old boys with potty mouths!

I honestly cannot remember any really outstanding opening lines a guy has used with me.  I don't quite remember the last time someone flirted with me, honestly.  Erm...except...some really awkward stuff some of my male students have done (lalalalalala not listening).

honestly, I couldn't flirt to save my life....

Mana wrote:honestly, I couldn't flirt to save my life....

@Mana

You must unlearn what you have learnt

Hang arround here awhile then

I do flirt but only with people that I can be sure that they are comfortable about it as I am.

Because, you ll never know - I am quite aware that some of it can emotionaly hurt someone else.
Due to that I never do it on the internet - because you just do not know who is on the other side, what flirt means for the other side..etc.
I know that I sound like a moral freak now - but let s say that s my rules I set for the internet interactions as a result of the expirience.
Not something I apply strictly in RL, I flirt when I am in a mood of it, and that s all.

What I think about people who tend to flirt - I say let them be, do not judge them, the fun of it and consequences are theirs not yours.

i am very much a flirt and when in the mood i like to play. i'm not always in the mood though.

guardienne wrote:i am very much a flirt and when in the mood i like to play. i'm not always in the mood though.

@guardienne

LOL
Indeed. that s what I forget to point out for myself.

Example:

A very handsome waiter just brought me caffee: Here you are madam!
ME (coldly): tnx
---------------------------------------------
- What does it mean?

****just put the bloody thing down and go away I am in my thoughts****

@darth_awakened i'm too much of a people pleaser and also having worked in the service industry myself, it's difficult to be a b*tch with people when my mood isn't their fault.

guardienne wrote:@darth_awakened i'm too much of a people pleaser and also having worked in the service industry myself, it's difficult to be a b*tch with people when my mood isn't their fault.

@guardienne

I think you just got me wrong.
I was talking about the situation when someone would engage in flirting with handsome waiter instead of just being deeply in the own thoughts.

@Darth_awakened i'm not sure i get that.

guardienne wrote:@Darth_awakened i'm not sure i get that.

@guardienne

Huh I see...
How to explain - I am not sure you did get my pervious post, though, considering your answer.
My previous post was not about the people who work in service industry. It was just example of something I see often i RL when a woman gets a caffee from the handsome waiter, and she starts to flirt.
I wanted only to point out that I am sometimes so deep in my thoughts that I am not able to even notice that the guy is handsome.

And more to add to my stance with the internet flirt - I am a geek after all and I like to speculate, speculate, speculate and speculate.

@darth_awakened yes i get that!

Darth_Awakened wrote:I do flirt but only with people that  I can be sure that they are comfortable about it as I am.

Because, you ll never know - I am quite aware that some of it can emotionaly hurt someone else.
Due to that I  never do it on the internet - because you just do not know who is on the other side, what flirt means for the other side..etc.
I know that I sound like a moral freak now - but let s say that s my rules I set for the internet interactions as a result of the expirience.
Not something I apply strictly in RL, I flirt when I am in a mood of it, and that s all.

What I think about people who tend to flirt - I say let them be, do not judge them, the fun of it and consequences are theirs not yours.

@Darth_Awakened

The bolded...your words get to me...so I must counter:
1. Be an honest flirt...I issue warnings...granted I am aware that most like to play with the things you tell them not to...but how is that my fault? my conscience is clear...I don't hide...and I don't lie...ask me what interests you, I'll be truthfull....even publicly If you're worthy I'll give you more than my online time we can even become friends
2. Live and let live All the way...My fun, my consequences....People are to sanitized these days, wanting only good experiences in life....all feelings are to be had...they are all natural and just...the good the bad...the Jedi, the Sith, It's true, all of it...it's what makes us human...to feel...to love...to hurt...to be hurt...make mistakes...learn from them...gather experience, apply it to future situations....grow!

And to prove I don't just preach, but live through what I say, I will share a consequence...publicly....hahaha

I was successfully being my un-flirty self from the day I met my "true love" ex husband 13 years ago (I call him ex-all though technically he'd be soon-to-be-ex, but I filed the papers so whateva)....that man can't flirt for the life of him...I fell for the strong and silent type that he was but knowing he will never understand me completely...and love me the way I need to be loved....and being selfless being that I am I decided I should change myself and stop flirting and looking for that....ummmm...chemistry...spark....excitement....cuz I figured, it's overrated anyway (well my wise 25 yearold self did )....so I went against myself (trying to mitigate my desires and beliefs...like one of my strong ones: don't change anyone so i tried changing myself) long story short....my self-delusions fell through like a house of cards when Kylo Ren happened....yes...this silly SW movie...cuz I went online and googled ReyLo....that took me to places where I met a man...in whom I thought I saw something I never saw before...someone I could relate...in how we feel...how we joke...what we believe in...the way we see the world....but I was wrong...guess that it is the danger of online flirting....selfprojecting All I saw in him was what I wanted to see cuz I needed to see it...I get that...I am aware of the reality of the world around me...but I still engage the fight...What fight? The ONLY fight...against the Darkside...that is emotionless cloneness...I choose not to have that as my reality...It would be so f****ing easy to go back to safe....but I am not doing that...i am not that weak any more to live in self denial...but ironically a weak man made me stronger     gotta love that...it is one of those beauties you find in the todays world...Thnx buttercup...I honestly mean it and you know I don't lie...

So as you see @Darth_Awakened ALL experience is valuable...and worthy...all feelings...all emotions....not just the positive ones....All of it...makes you grow
I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control,
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul,
I'm so f****ing special

Sometimes the consequences of your actions are the best thing that can happen to you.....and my hurt...it will not make me not flirt (hahaha...again!!! it rhymes!!! so poetic...it must be true ) it will make me be more of myself....just might do it very recklessly...and completely unseriously...with everyone except you Bugs, you are special to me  

@kylo ren
Thank you for your honesty from the deepest of my heart!
That s rare in the world we are living!
And brave
You see you are the big deal!

Enjoy your life

p.s. I am saving my rants to Saturday night. lol

@Darth_Awakened

I know (Han, not Leia )

Thank you too...

the belonging you seek is not behind you, but ahead....lol...I see beer too in it and good food

guardienne wrote:@kylo ren you are auch a scientist i don't think flirting anywhere is a problem unless you misread signals and then it all goes south. sometimes i smile at people because they amuse me or whatever, and for a lot of them that's an invitation and it's confusing but then i think nobody is smiling anymore, everyone is buried in their smartphones and stuff. this makes me feel very old school.

it's easy to be misunderstood when only writing. but it's also weirdly easy to project a certain persona. so i understand that this is what i do and i shape the writing to do that, but also i want the writing to be *me* and then it gets confusing. the version of me that is bestest to be on a message board.

so, i'm deliberately being unintentional. ha.

@guardienne

I meant to address this yesterday...then I was distracted
Missreading signals....a worthy topic of a prolonged discussion
When it comes to online flirting, I agree with you, mizunderstandings can happen a lot and often....specially because of the fact that every person reading someone else's post interprets the words through his/hers goggles (state of mind) of the moment....it is inevitable as is the sound of Mr. Anderson's death ()

For example....I can never tell with @Armadeus () if he is flirting with me or not! sometimes I think he does, other times I think he is not....damn I wish I knew for sure ofc it could be because he sucks at it (I am only kidding)...or he is very good at it (I'm only kidding )....or he is a joker and a trickster like me...so he likes to misdirect But sometimes Frared, that is the funnest part....not knowing....leaves room for guesswork...and witty exchanges on a public forums...which is kinda fun...specially on boring Sunday's afternoons...but all this stands if ofc the flirting is welcomed by both parties....(he sometimes likes my messages so I guess he likes it )...

But I guess you were referring to situations in real life and when it is unwelcomed by at least one party....I must say I don't see that as a problem either...people are supposed to be intuitive beings...so when you notice someone's advances that you don't particularly welcome, even if you did smile at that person before, just tell them so?
You know....like so: I'm sorry, are you flirting with me....If so I am not comfortable with it and I would like you to stop and we talk about.....ummmm....famous peaces of art again....or the paradigm of the heterogeneous phase kinetics in flow through reactor ....might be wise to hold the tongue in while delivering that cuz sticking your tongue at people can be misconstrued as a sexual sign easily....
If your co-talker continues in undesired direction, then just blow him of....you can start by saying that you have a big bad boyfriend....or yes...show him your Kylo Ren is my boyfriend T-shirt ....or my personal favorite...switch your attention to another object until this one gets the picture....
If they still don't get it, then it is constituted as sexual harassment, I guess...and it's time to get physical I suppose..or you can threaten to sue him...
not that I recommend violence, but imo every woman should know basic self defense (or carry a pepper spray) that she could use if the need arises....for example if some one continues to harass you even after you said no...loud and clear, maybe you can call him to a dark corner of the room...come very close...then place your knee to his crouch...with excessive Force...and leave him on the ground with...I said NO, MF!! or you can just leave the party if you particularly don't like confrontations, and discuss the situation with your girlfriends until all of them know what kind of an dumbass that one really is and he gets a bad rep and has to move away to a different city because no one would do him in this one ever again
I never had to do anything even remotely serious like that, and I am a sexy cute flirt, so chances are he'll get it at hello and all will be happy and all will be good with the world once again

In the case if you are the one who is advancing...well all I can say is try to read other peoples body language and try not to let thing escalate to the point that you are left for dead on the ground....what else can I say

This is oh so very serious topic....I feel a need to counter...Flirtation is all about FUN....It is NOT to be taken seriously, and it DOES NOT NEED to lead to sextalk or sex..it can but DOES NOT NEED to.....it all depends on what both people want...that said, it HAS to be consentual, otherwise it's creepy....and this is where HONESTY comes in...people do try to be honest with yourselves first and then with others so that you don't find yourselves in situations you'd rather not be in....FLIRT RESPONSIBLY!!!


I feel like such a teacher

Kylo Ren wrote:This is oh so very serious topic....I feel a need to counter...Flirtation is all about FUN....It is NOT to be taken seriously, and it DOES NOT NEED to lead to sextalk or sex..it can but DOES NOT NEED to.....it all depends on what both people want...that said, it HAS to be consentual, otherwise it's creepy....and this is where HONESTY comes in...people do try to be honest with yourselves first and then with others so that you don't find yourselves in situations you'd rather not be in....FLIRT RESPONSIBLY!!!


I feel like such a teacher

@Kylo Ren

Like @Kylo Ren said, flirting is all about signals. When I meet a girl who's extroverted and 'flirty,' then I respond in kind and within the boundaries of good taste, of course. However, if I sense that the girl I'm talking with is more reserved, then I adjust accordingly and adopt a more restrained approach.

I'm actually more of an introvert IRL, but sometimes people (cute chemical engineers, for example *) come along and I am inspired to emerge from my shell.

*Am I flirting? Am I not flirting? Who can tell? MUAHAHAHAHA



Flirting can be fun and do wonders for one's self-esteem, but, like everything in life, it's not for everyone.

Re: the bolded: It's true. All of it.

OooooooOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOooooooooohhhhhhhhh

@Armadeus
I am so happy that you decided to come out and play...welcome!!!

Little_Boots wrote:OooooooOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOooooooooohhhhhhhhh

@Little_Boots