Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

[snufkin]

In light of the past week's epiphanies, the mother of all crack spoilers, which is the first thing I read after seeing TFA in late February 2016. I remember thinking "oh Hell no this can't be right." and getting stressed out about the idea that a writer/director I'd heretofore had a lot of respect for was writing another version of every sh**ty action-adventure blockbuster that's out there and wasting the potential of these two characters/relationship

I have read a very early storyboard for Episode VIIII

Plot A would progress in this order
Luke tells Rey what happened during the fall of his academy.
Kylo Ren is growing in power. He possesses a skill for manipulating the force that has never been seen. Snoke senses this and aims to replace Kylo with Rey, and plans to use Kylo to do it.
Luke trains Rey in the ways of the Force.
Rey confronts the spiritual test of the darkness within herself.
Kylo murders Snoke, having known all along Snoke was aiming to replace him before he grew powerful enough to overtake him, and declares himself ruler of the First Order. There is a slight rift among the troopers in whether they will follow Kylo or Hux.
Rey leaves against Luke's wishes to confront Kylo. The B plot of the story is what drives her out.
Kylo Ren and Rey fight again. There is an underlying sense of attraction between the two. Kylo Ren is much, much stronger than he was in their last fight. He beats Rey and reveals he spared her life in the temple purge and left her on Jakku. He again beckons her to join him. This time, the result of that offer is left up in the air.
Plot B progresses in this manner
Captain Phasma has placed a substantial bounty on Finn's head.
She and Hux are relentlessly searching the Galaxy for the Resistance.
They find the Resistance base and decimate it with an impressive land assault.
Finn and Poe meet a refugee and the three of them spend most of the story evading bounty hunters and the First Order.
Finn falls for the refugee. Head over heels.
On a planet that's essentially the Las Vegas of the Galaxy, the refugee turns on Finn and Poe and collects the bounty on their heads.
They are captured and tortured on this planet.
It's here that Rey and Kylo fight.
Finn manages an escape but Poe is captured and sent to what is essentially maximum security for the First Order.
That's the first treatment.
Other tidbits include the mention that the Galaxy is absolutely war torn right now with no leadership and many systems just fending for themselves.
Del Toro will play a bounty hunter.
Luke refuses to join the fight on either side. This upsets Leia
Kylo Ren will kill an officer for mentioning the scar on his face.
Again, early treatment, but expect it to unfold fairly close.

And whatever happened to the other guy who had the site of Finn-centric spoilers where everything he claimed made it sound like they'd hired Eli Roth?

[ISeeAnIsland]

And whatever happened to the other guy who had the site of Finn-centric spoilers where everything he claimed made it sound like they'd hired Eli Roth?

@snufkin

His domain expired.

http://ww1.iwasraisedtodoonething.com/

[snufkin]

@ISeeanIsland - the lawyers must have got to him! That crap was like torture porn fanfic.

[Kylo Men]

Was there a spoiler about an underwater cave that Rey goes to, and perhaps Kylo?

[SoloSideCousin]

Was there a spoiler about an underwater cave that Rey goes to, and perhaps Kylo?

@Kylo Men

I think that it is more than a spoiler actually. They did have water crews in Ireland, and Rey definitely goes underwater in the movie and comes out in what at least looks like a cave setting. Also, there is some imagery (is it from the pinball machine?) which shows that Luke's X-wing is underwater. In the original treatments, Kira (who became Rey) was supposed to swim to what was the emperor's throne room, now submerged. I think that idea might have been somehow repurposed here. I doubt she is going for a throne room ... but I imagine that there might be something significant and "forceish" in that water.

[ISeeAnIsland]

Was there a spoiler about an underwater cave that Rey goes to, and perhaps Kylo?

@Kylo Men

I think that it is more than a spoiler actually. They did have water crews in Ireland, and Rey definitely goes underwater in the movie and comes out in what at least looks like a cave setting. Also, there is some imagery (is it from the pinball machine?) which shows that Luke's X-wing is underwater. In the original treatments, Kira (who became Rey) was supposed to swim to what was the emperor's throne room, now submerged. I think that idea might have been somehow repurposed here. I doubt she is going for a throne room ... but I imagine that there might be something significant and "forceish" in that water.

@SoloSideCousin

Right. There was also that "water tunnel" that they built in Ireland, for whatever purpose that was used for.

[nonesuch]

Can anyone remember the leak that claimed the entire EU was basically dedicated to building up the spiritual connection between Rey and Kylo? I can't remember if it was from 4Chan or Reddit, but it was rather interesting and the recent panels from the Poe comic w/ Lor San Tekka made me think of it...

[ISeeAnIsland]

Can anyone remember the leak that claimed the entire EU was basically dedicated to building up the spiritual connection between Rey and Kylo? I can't remember if it was from 4Chan or Reddit, but it was rather interesting and the recent panels from the Poe comic w/ Lor San Tekka made me think of it...

@nonesuch

I don't recall ever seeing anything like that. That is an interesting rumor. Did they mean the new canon EU?

[vaderito]

Can anyone remember the leak that claimed the entire EU was basically dedicated to building up the spiritual connection between Rey and Kylo? I can't remember if it was from 4Chan or Reddit, but it was rather interesting and the recent panels from the Poe comic w/ Lor San Tekka made me think of it...

@nonesuch

That Poe/LST thing is amazing! Like, that's something for Rey and Kylo to open together. The SW version of the Biblical Apple, ha,ha.

But I think that you mean that old 4chan leak where OP said in AMA that all the Filoni stuff is just background noise for the story of Rey and Kylo. He didn't mean new canon EU but stuff in the movie - balance, convorees (back then everyone believed Porgs were convorees), Force trees, etc. If you remember that leak caused an uproar cause it said that Kylo incapacitated Luke (but birds attacked him and saved Luke). Cause how could Kylo be moh powahful? #RAWPOWAH baby!

[FrolickingFizzgig]

So I had a pretty WTF dream about TLJ last night. Thought I would share it here because there were entire spoilers, plot lines and twists--also entire scenes, LOL. I'm adding it as a crack spoiler because the universe may be trying to tell me something.

Ahch-To is less a lonely island planet and more a lonely island planet with abandoned trains everywhere. Like Digimon. Luke lives in one such train.



I don't remember the details of the beginning, just that eventually Kylo makes his way to Ahch-To. When he shows up he tries to kill Rey. Instead they end up talking, I think? I'm not sure what happens exactly, but a few scenes go by and suddenly Luke and Rey are taking a train ala Spirited Away off Ahch-To and Kylo is captive amongst them. Luke freaks out when he sees Kylo and tries to bash him in the head with his stick, but Rey surprises herself by shielding Kylo.

In the background a recorded hologram starts playing in the voice of Aperture's founding scientist in Portal II. It's all about the Knights of Ren and I believe the implication was Luke has been searching for information about them. The hologram shows Holdo, but her name is revealed to be Holdo Ren? O__o

The next scene is also on the train. Kylo is standing on the roof with his hands bound staring out pensively at the fading island. The song playing in the background is Twilight Town from Kingdom Hearts II. Yah, for real.



Rey slowly walks toward him and leans over the railing around the train's roof edge. They don't look at each other, but the Twilight Town song fades away and is replaced by some old-timey 60's love song. I can't remember which one, just that it sounded a bit like Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Kylo sudden sighs and Rey looks at him, and he leans over and kisses her. Rey is extremely taken aback and upset and runs off.





Hux and Phasma have an intense make-out session near the end of the movie. I believe they also killed Snoke together and became the new Big Bad power couple.

[vaderito]

[SheLitAFire]

So I had a pretty WTF dream about TLJ last night. Thought I would share it here because there were entire spoilers, plot lines and twists--also entire scenes, LOL. I'm adding it as a crack spoiler because the universe may be trying to tell me something.

Ahch-To is less a lonely island planet and more a lonely island planet with abandoned trains everywhere. Like Digimon. Luke lives in one such train.



I don't remember the details of the beginning, just that eventually Kylo makes his way to Ahch-To. When he shows up he tries to kill Rey. Instead they end up talking, I think? I'm not sure what happens exactly, but a few scenes go by and suddenly Luke and Rey are taking a train ala Spirited Away off Ahch-To and Kylo is captive amongst them. Luke freaks out when he sees Kylo and tries to bash him in the head with his stick, but Rey surprises herself by shielding Kylo.

In the background a recorded hologram starts playing in the voice of Aperture's founding scientist in Portal II. It's all about the Knights of Ren and I believe the implication was Luke has been searching for information about them. The hologram shows Holdo, but her name is revealed to be Holdo Ren? O__o

The next scene is also on the train. Kylo is standing on the roof with his hands bound staring out pensively at the fading island. The song playing in the background is Twilight Town from Kingdom Hearts II. Yah, for real.



Rey slowly walks toward him and leans over the railing around the train's roof edge. They don't look at each other, but the Twilight Town song fades away and is replaced by some old-timey 60's love song. I can't remember which one, just that it sounded a bit like Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Kylo sudden sighs and Rey looks at him, and he leans over and kisses her. Rey is extremely taken aback and upset and runs off.





Hux and Phasma have an intense make-out session near the end of the movie. I believe they also killed Snoke together and became the new Big Bad power couple.

@FrolickingFizzgig

We have a dream thread! Copy & paste it there too!
http://reylo.skyforum.net/t584-compilation-of-our-star-wars-dreams

[FrolickingFizzgig]

I tried to slow it down and the Porg says something like:

Luke refuses to train Rey after seeing her power. Rey leaves Ahch-To to seek out the Journal of the Whills and train on her own. Meanwhile, Snoke becomes dissatisfied with Kylo Ren during their training. Wanting to seduce Rey to the Dark Side. Feeling neglected, Kylo Ren renounces his title and leaves to Aklan 4 to find the Journal of the Whills, but is pursued by Snoke and the First Order. Captain Phasma leads forces to destroy the ruins of the Order of the Whills, wanting to keep the Journal out of the hands of the Resistance. Ben Solo and Rey find each other as the temples burn, and join together to seek out the secrets of the Force.

Points for originality in presentation, LOL.



FAF, of course.

[DarthRen]

Some people elsewhere actually believe this is a real deal and plot leaked. Praise the Porgs.

[SoloSideCousin]

I tried to slow it down and the Porg says something like:

Luke refuses to train Rey after seeing her power. Rey leaves Ahch-To to seek out the Journal of the Whills and train on her own. Meanwhile, Snoke becomes dissatisfied with Kylo Ren during their training. Wanting to seduce Rey to the Dark Side. Feeling neglected, Kylo Ren renounces his title and leaves to Aklan 4 to find the Journal of the Whills, but is pursued by Snoke and the First Order. Captain Phasma leads forces to destroy the ruins of the Order of the Whills, wanting to keep the Journal out of the hands of the Resistance. Ben Solo and Rey find each other as the temples burn, and join together to seek out the secrets of the Force.

Points for originality in presentation, LOL.



FAF, of course.

@FrolickingFizzgig

That's actually cool though. I really appreciate that crack spoiler. So many of them are Luke lighting up the green. This actually deals with interesting stuff like ancient temples and the Journal of the Whills.

[vaderito]

Quick, take a screencap! new 4chan leak!

http://boards.4chan.org/tv/thread/89396156

Total BS. he didn't do his homework well at all. still believes that Kylo saved little cousin Rey from the massacre.

[Reylo Lemon]

Quick, take a screencap! new 4chan leak!

http://boards.4chan.org/tv/thread/89396156

@vaderito

"Rey is a skywalker" *closes tab while yelling a blasphemy*

[Darth_Awakened]

Quick, take a screencap! new 4chan leak!

http://boards.4chan.org/tv/thread/89396156

@vaderito

"Rey is a skywalker" *closes tab while yelling a blasphemy*

@Maria Antonietta

Just wanted to post a proof for the above statement

Rey is a Skywalker.

Ben knows this - but doesn’t tell or explain this to her - and is the one who left her on Jakku. He stole the Falcon from his father to hide Rey, and traded it in exchange for Plutt keeping her on the planet and hidden, as well as a ship to leave on (which we see in TFA).

Rey was nothing special when she was young, and a bit like Leia, telegraphed pretty much radio silence in terms of Force capabilities. She stayed with her mother whilst Luke and Ben were off searching the galaxy.

Snoke is responsible for an attack on a Temple which Luke, Ben, Han, Luke’s wife and Rey were at, used to further fragment the family and pull Ben closer to his grasp, which kills Luke’s wife and leaves Rey wounded. Luke is buried in the Temple as he goes in to try to save his wife and daughter, but to no avail.

Ben then hides Rey - he knows that he Temple attack was carried out by Snoke, and wants to hide Rey as he doesn’t want her getting hurt: she offered him family when Han, Leia and Luke couldn’t.

The family was further fragmented by this, with Luke dedicating himself to restarting the Jedi Order as almost an army to find Snoke and kill him. He didn’t detect Ben’s inevitable fall.

Yes, Hayden and Ewan portrayed the Force ghosts of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

[vaderito]

@Darth_awakened Wow, what a piece of outdated sith! he managed to write a Reywalker leak base don all debunked theories. Like, the freakin trailer said Kylo's #RAWPOWAH blew up the temple and this clown's, like, Snoke did it. Waaaaa? And don't get me started on Kylo saves little cousin from massacre.

[Birdwoman]

My favorite part of that leak: Kylo arriving on Ach-to, sneaking around trying to talk to Rey. Luke gets angry and orders him off the island. Kylo then sneaks in the hut. They talk, Luke finds out...hut explodes. Then somehow Kylo calls in the knights of Ran. They fight, Rey falls off the cliff, Kylo jumps into save her, carries her back to the hut.....where they make out....ok, I just added that last part.

[FrolickingFizzgig]

LOLOLOLOL, we haven't had such a badly researched crack spoiler in aaaggeeesss! Thank you whoever wrote this beautiful nonsense. It was horribly written and boring, but I'm glad we still have these crack spoilers to tide us over. I need more.

[vaderito]

LOLOLOLOL, we haven't had such a badly researched crack spoiler in aaaggeeesss! Thank you whoever wrote this beautiful nonsense. It was horribly written and boring, but I'm glad we still have these crack spoilers to tide us over. I need more.

@FrolickingFizzgig

It still didn't reach the glorious heights of that Spoiler Dump In 3 Parts where Kylo was stomping his foot and pacing impatiently on Snoke's ship for the whole movie.

[FrolickingFizzgig]

LOLOLOLOL, we haven't had such a badly researched crack spoiler in aaaggeeesss! Thank you whoever wrote this beautiful nonsense. It was horribly written and boring, but I'm glad we still have these crack spoilers to tide us over. I need more.

@FrolickingFizzgig

It still didn't reach the glorious heights of that Spoiler Dump In 3 Parts where Kylo was stomping his foot and pacing impatiently on Snoke's ship for the whole movie.

@vaderito
This was my favourite part:

[Piper Maru]

If the movie followed this script I'd be so bored that the Reywalker s*** wouldn't even affect me.

[vaderito]

 
This was my favourite part:

@FrolickingFizzgig

In an attempt to hide her new robo arm, Rose gets a French braid:

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