Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

[SoloSideCousin]

43 here! We had a pirated VHS copy of Star Wars that we obtained when my dad’s boss decided to upgrade to Betamax...and sold us his old VHS system for cheap.

@ISeeAnIsland

43 too!!! VHS must live forever because I have an unaltered version of Star Wars (I'm with @Lily Snape, it's still "Star Wars" to me ), that I must be able to let my child watch to see the *real* Star Wars ... you know when Han shot first and there was no CGI in existence.

[Casper]

Good god, no wonder the fanboys hate us.  The fandom’s been taken over by a bunch of middle-aged cat ladies!       (speaking for myself on that last part.)

@SoloSideCousin

You better hold onto that!  It’s worth its weight in gold.

 
@Casper


+ 1 (I mean +45 one) LOL (which is a "code" for "laughing out loud")

Anyone freaked out at the cave scene in TESB like I did?

@Darth_Awakened

       

What, you mean the rolling severed head/helmet that opens up and shows Luke’s face and dead eyes?  Nah!  Just you.  (lol)

I'm glad to see there are so many 40+ fans here.  I think I'm one of the oldest people here, because not only did I see ANH in the theater, but I wasn't really little.  I was old enough to remember seeing it.  I also remember watching "The Star Wars Holiday Special" when it aired on TV back in 1978.  Is anyone else here old enough to remember seeing that when it first aired?  I remember watching it and just being like,

Anyway, good to see that I'm not the only "old-timer" here.

@Kyla Ren

No, but I saw the ewok movie.  

[PalmettoBlue]

@KnightsofReylo_2015 Drive-ins do exist still! I think they are experiencing a slight resurgence. We have 3 in SC, and we make a point to go once or twice a season at least. We went to see TFA at the drive-in with my girls, so they will have seen it there!

@Lily Snape GEN X! Remember when people spoke derisively of us? We were lazy slackers too...And yes, I remember getting the digitally remastered VHS tapes. I could actually SEE the skeletons of Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen. That was just - tragic.

43 here!

@ISeeAnIsland Same.
@SoloSideCousin I wish I still had those digitally remastered tapes because Han still shot first. And Epi 4 will always just be Star Wars to me as well.

@snufkin I agree. I'm very curious to see what the FoD episode will be. That packaging removed my doubt about Rey and Kylo as a romantic pairing. I just can't see how it would go any other way at this point.

[MyOnlyHope]

New amazing FAF from our good friends at Reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/starwarsspeculation/comments/7hhtqw/the_last_jedi_major_spoilers/

When Ben and Rey kiss, it literally creates life. (LOOOL)

Rose is secretly Force Sensitive and it is all but stated that she is Luke’s daughter. RoseSky confirmed!

Luke wields a red lightsaber, but isn’t evil. It’s his father’s.

Hux supplants Snoke as the leader of the First Order after having arranged Snoke’s escape pod to destruct. This dude is super f****ing evil.

[vaderito]

Life-Creating Kiss is a proof that FAF post those to mock Reylo. I forgive them cause it's fun.

I don't know if this is a crack non-spoiler review or not but I think it has crack potential so I'm posting here. OP deleted the post but his AMA remains:

This correct most of the press see's it next week but some press members have gotten to see the movie so have family and friends and some of the cast.

lol again wrong there is a press screening prior to the premiere

No it isn't that's the world premiere. Not the same thing! They only did that with The Force Awakens there's a press screening on December 7th. Watch your twitter feed that day if they lift the embargo. A press screening and a World Premiere are NOT the same thing.

believe what you want your entitled to your opinion i'll stick with facts. You can go tell the employees at ABC and ET that they just imagined seeing the movie.

Sure go head.
Keep in mind we don't know anything for sure. We just believe we do through various means.

From what i've heard from two very reliable sources is that the first half of the film is very light and funny at times, the situations are intense but most of the comedy is in these parts and the second half of the film is very dark and extremely emotional!
Andy Serkis confirmed the second part today at the press conference.

The film offers Two Flashbacks possibly three! and two or three reveals plus the massive omg shocking moment the international posters have been marketing.
From what I understand it's the most different Episodic film yet! But does call back to Empire and Sith at times.

Not convinced.

[Night Huntress]

Life-Creating Kiss is a proof that FAF post those to mock Reylo. I forgive them cause it's fun.

I don't know if this is a crack non-spoiler review or not but I think it has crack potential so I'm posting here. OP deleted the post but his AMA remains:

This correct most of the press see's it next week but some press members have gotten to see the movie so have family and friends and some of the cast.

lol again wrong there is a press screening prior to the premiere

No it isn't that's the world premiere. Not the same thing! They only did that with The Force Awakens there's a press screening on December 7th. Watch your twitter feed that day if they lift the embargo. A press screening and a World Premiere are NOT the same thing.

believe what you want your entitled to your opinion i'll stick with facts. You can go tell the employees at ABC and ET that they just imagined seeing the movie.

Sure go head.
Keep in mind we don't know anything for sure. We just believe we do through various means.

From what i've heard from two very reliable sources is that the first half of the film is very light and funny at times, the situations are intense but most of the comedy is in these parts and the second half of the film is very dark and extremely emotional!
Andy Serkis confirmed the second part today at the press conference.

The film offers Two Flashbacks possibly three! and two or three reveals plus the massive omg shocking moment the international posters have been marketing.
From what I understand it's the most different Episodic film yet! But does call back to Empire and Sith at times.

Not convinced.

@vaderito

convinced of what? There is nothing revealing at all... just blah blah.

All this "crack spoilers" are nonsense- even if some of them will turn out to be true, it was just lucky guessing in my opinion- just like we speculate here on this board.

One leaker says they will even be a Reylo kiss- another they will be no Reylo at all... however NONE of them can describe any detail to the plot - not one. They just put together known scenes from the trailer + leaks from the last few weeks. So I don't buy any of it.

[snufkin]

Dude, any fanboys (Gen-X or Millennial) who are salty about it, it ain't cause we're a bunch of crazy cat ladies. It's because the entire premise of the ST centers the female perspective and female storytelling in a way that doesn't allow them to be the default. It also doesn't allow it be a situation where how new fans, be they female or in the case of this board-not American and not Western, get to come in to the institutional culture of fandom and be part of the Boy's Club. Part of what freaks these people out isn't just OMG she can't have a love interest because she's a strong female character or he killed Han Solo, that bastard! It's the loss of hegemony or people coming in having their own communities and fan experiences which aren't centered around what those fans are interested in. Or to put it more bluntly in the words of a forum member from here, you have dudes who got off to Slave Leia as part of their SW experience growing up who now want to bond with their daughters over it. And that brings in a whole new set of expectations about what Rey "should" be doing - talk about the literal patriarchy. Not to mention the whole theme of the ST for Ben/Kylo being parent expectations about how a kid should experience something or figure it out versus what the kid actually wants to do. Both OT and PT fans need to chill the eff out IMO over what "should" happen in the ST because pro-tip - this isn't your trilogy. Let those kids (and new fans, be they female or non-Western, non-English speaking countries) have their own experiences and relationships to the stories.

As for Reddit, LF really does need to do a publishing project which riffs on this old classic given how desperate some fans are to make Luke be somebody's dad.



@PalmettoBlue - I can't believe there's going to be a Barbie version of him and it doesn't come with hairstyling swag (and lmao off paired Barbies, I knew JJ was throwing in some references to Dark Helmet from Spaceballs). V. curious about what the two of them will be getting up to in a cartoon series aimed at small children, predominantly little girls. You know that there will be Porgs involved.

[Night Huntress]

[i]

@snufkin

This pictures reminds me of my funny experiences when my dogs where younger.

When my youngest was a puppy everyone used to ask my if my older one is the mother - he is male and NO they aren't related.  
They don't even look alike apart from being the same breed.

Nacho (black one) is Luke und Sarion (brindle) is Rey  

[snufkin]

@Night Huntress - Aw sweet pups!

Also to piggyback on @Lily Snape - any fanboy who wants to throw shade at me, dude I not only saw Nirvana long before Dave Grohl was even their drummer, I saw the Pixies on their first tour, The Replacements before they threw out Bob Stinson, and my teenaged siblings took my tiny little self to go see the first movie (none of this "ANH" bullshit) in one of the original 31 theaters it got released in. The one piece of SW themed swag I've ever owned is the original first run set of Topps trading cards for that movie. So I could easily be an a**hole one-upper about a lot of fandom stuff anytime I encounter somebody who tries to play that game.

[Birdwoman]

So I guess that Rey somehow gets pregnant from that life giving kiss? LOL!

Why does so many people want Luke to be a dad? So bizarre to me.....

[vaderito]

This is totally legit! And big cheer for the new ship, Sleia:

[Night Huntress]

This is totally legit! And big cheer for the new ship, Sleia:

@vaderito



So, Leia cheated on Han with Snoke (before he became ugly but anyway -> )

Luke tried to kill Rey? Why? And Leia & Kylo dropped her off on Jakku? *facepalm*

obviously that "leaker" haven't read bloodline

[MyOnlyHope]

[SoloSideCousin]

This is totally legit! And big cheer for the new ship, Sleia:

@vaderito



So, Leia cheated on Han with Snoke (before he became ugly but anyway -> )

Luke tried to kill Rey? Why? And Leia & Kylo dropped her off on Jakku? *facepalm*

obviously that "leaker" haven't read bloodline

@Night Huntress

Exactly! LOL!

They also forgot that 8-foot-tall Snoke isn't human. And maybe it's just me, but Rey doesn't seem to be the SW version of Spock. LOL!

[vaderito]

@MyOnlyHope



They love gold!

[KnightsofReylo_2015]

 

So...um okay, Luke tried to kill Rey, who is Leia's daughter...
Then Leia sends her daughter to Ach-to to seek out her killer?  

Omg...this is hilarious!!

[reylo1992]

This is totally legit! And big cheer for the new ship, Sleia:

@vaderito

   

So, Leia cheated on Han with Snoke (before he became ugly but anyway -> )    

Luke tried to kill Rey? Why? And Leia & Kylo dropped her off on Jakku? *facepalm*

obviously that "leaker" haven't read bloodline  

@Night Huntress

Exactly! LOL!

They also forgot that 8-foot-tall Snoke isn't human. And maybe it's just me, but Rey doesn't seem to be the SW version of Spock. LOL!

@SoloSideCousin

The best : Leia desperate to find her brother Luke to help the Resistance despite what he did...and sending her own daughter to her death after saving her...by dropping her all alone on a desert planet!

[Starliteprism]

So I guess that Rey somehow gets pregnant from that life giving kiss? LOL!

Why does so many people want Luke to be a dad? So bizarre to me.....

@Birdwoman

Too funny. Not sure of the context of your comment (if it was a response to something else or just you sharing an idea), I was saying to my husband last night that what if Kylo Ren and Rey's energy combined, perhaps through a "force" kiss sprouts... a sprout?
He laughed at me so much.

[vaderito]

the same FAF who posts FAF on reddit from his sock accounts and on 4chan is at it again. This time, Rey and Kylo get possessed by Snoke all with ice-blue eyes! Night King Kylo!

http://boards.4chan.org/tv/thread/91087044

The film opens in space (duh) - Kylo Ren’s shuttle flies up from the bottom of the frame, the camera panning up with it. It heads towards the supremacy. We see Kylo Ren in the shuttle. Hux is looking out the window. Hux says “we’re not going to see Supreme Leader Snoke yet.” The two talk, with Kylo being pretty out of it - presumably thinking about Rey. On the supremacy Kylo is taken on a floating bed to a medical bay while Hux goes to talk to Snoke about the destruction of Starkiller. Hux walks into Snoke’s throne room expecting to be reprimanded for the destruction of Starkiller but Snoke smiles and seems unbothered. He requests Kylo be brought to him at once, but Hux tells him he’s still recovering in the medical bay. Snoke extends his arm and starts to “force squeeze” Hux. (I think the force squeeze is a mixture of draining the life force from people and crushing them at the same time - more on that later). He drops Hux and Hux gets up quickly. Just then Kylo Ren walks in. They both look at him as he walks in and we see a cool POV shot as he gets closer to Snoke and Hux - with Snokes music also getting louder too. Snoke says to Kylo: “Because of you, the resistance has destroyed Starkiller base, and the girl has gotten to Skywalker.” Kylo apologizes and tells Snoke that the girl had “Raw power”. He dismisses Kylo and tells Hux that they are going to “obliterate D’Quar”, Leia included and that Kylo was to personally lead the fleet against Leia - as a test of allegiance. Kylo insists he can do it and Snoke tells them to see to it. They leave and Hux tells him the supreme leader will destroy him if he fails to do what he is told. He gets in an elevator and smashes his helmet out of frustration

[spolier]Wipe to D’Quar: We see the millennium falcon fly off the planet. Leia stands in the crowd at the end of the force awakens and watches it leaving. Poe comes up to her and tells her to come quick. They hurry over to the medical bay where we see Finn in a pod crashing. Poe says he doesn’t know what’s wrong and he can’t let Finn die. They both struggle to get it working when Rose Tico comes running in crying. She apologizes and says she was saying goodbye to her sister Paige, and that she is the mechanic for Finns pod. She recharges Finn’s biohexacrypt (spinal implant) and sits by his side looking depressed. Poe thanks her and goes off with Leia. Leia tells him he can’t spend his time worrying about Finn, and that the first order will be on their way soon and they need to evacuate the planet. We see Finn sleeping. He wakes up screaming “Rey!” This freaks rose out and she drops all her stuff. Finn is flipping out because he can’t move. He asks where he his and she says the resistance base. She is kind of flabbergasted by Finn and he’s like “what’s so funny?” And she’s like “I heard stories about you, breaking into starkiller and disabling the oscillator” (even though it was Han). Finn plays it up that he’s some sort of big shot hero and that he’s ready to get up. Rose tells him not to as he’s still charging so it will hurt. Finn says it’s no big deal and he sits up in pain but tries to hide it and play it off but he’s clearly like whimpering. Poe and leia talk about what they’re going to do and leia says they need to set up a blockade, to Poe’s dismay. Leia says they have no choice if they want to fend off the dreadnaught that the first order is going to send. Just then rose shows up and says “look who’s back”. Finn staggers into the room, and Poe and Finn reunite.[/spolier]

feel free to ask questions along the way

Finn asks where Rey is. Poe says she went off with chewbacca to find Luke and Finn says something like “thank goodness that Wookiee’s Gone”. He asks what they’re going to do and Poe says they’re going to fight.

Wipe to ach-to: the millennium falcon flies into frame. We see slow motion jump cuts recreating the last few minutes of TFA. Rey pulls out the lightsaber. Luke takes it and stares at it in his hands. He says “what are you doing here? Why do you have this?” Rey says “General leia organa sent me. The resistance needs you.” Luke tells her that she needs to leave and that he’s of no help. Rey tells him that he defeated the emperor, and restored peace to the galaxy to which Luke says “there will never be peace in the galaxy.” He then walks away, and says “and take this too”. He gives the lightsaber back to rey. Rey follows him very confused. She tells him that she’s heard stories about him to which Luke says they’re not true. Luke stops at the edge of a cliff overlooking the falcon, Chewie, and R2. He turns to Rey and angrily asks what they’re doing there. Rey says they came because they wanted to see him. Luke says that he doesn’t want to see them and walks away. Rey calls out “Han solo”. Luke turns around. Rey says “you know him”. Luke says “you mean knew”. Rey then says something like “if you knew he was dead why didn’t you come”. Luke stares and then walks away. Rey calls for him to come back but he ignores her.

We see the first order pull out of hyperspace. The camera pans around to reveal they are at D’Quar. We see the resistance panicking - we see the monkey and Carrie Fischer’s daughter confirming the presence of tie fighters and dreadnaughts. There’s a big ship fight and the blockade takes hits. Poe blows up tiefighters and takes out one of the dreadnaught cannons. Just then like 6 more dreadnaughts show up and start blowing up resistance ships. They also deploy like thousands of tiefighters. When it looks like all hope is lost, the raddus shows up out of hyperspace blowing up hundreds of tiefighters. Leia boards the ship and forces Poe to come, leaving his squadron behind. Eventually he does and then watches out the window as a bunch of his comrades get blown up. We see Kylo in a tiefighter, someone through the headpiece tells him leia got on the raddus. Kylo spins through some debris and approaches the raddus. He senses leia and leia senses him. He hesitates. Another tie fighter comes up from behind him and shoots at the ship blowing things up. Poe runs back to his xwing to try and rejoin the fight but it gets blown up. Kylo sits there realizing what he has done. The raddus tries to jump into hyperspace but something’s wrong with the engine. Bb units from the resistance hear this and run out of the room. They run by BB-8 and He sees them and joins them. Kylo flies around some more just trying to look like he’s doing something. Just then the raddus boosts into hyperspace. BB-8 and the other bb units kind of like party together. Leia says they’re going to meet with maz kanata and an old friend holdo on a ship that’s harbouring the survivors of the senate and mazs castle attack.

Achto at night: Rey sits at a fire with chewbacca. He is sad. Rey asks how long he knew Han. He can’t talk. R2 is sad too because Luke didn’t want to see him. Rey asks chewbacca what happened to Luke. Chewbacca says he doesn’t know. Rey turns to R2 and says “what happened there? The night with the fire?” R2 beeps but we don’t know what he says. Just then we hear Luke’s voice. He asks what they’re talking about. We see him standing there. He comes out from the dark into the light of the fire. Rey looks away. Chewie looks down. Luke steps forward. He says something like “How do you know about what happened?” Rey looks at him, not saying anything. Luke then says “who are you?” She says “I’m Rey. And Han Solo told me about what happened.” Luke then says something like “that’s not all; how did you get my father’s lightsaber?” Rey says she found it at Maz Kanata’s castle. Luke asks how she found it there and she says it called to her. She then tells him about her vision and what she saw. It almost seems like Luke recognizes her here. He then asks her where her family is. She says “they left me a long time ago and for a while it seemed like they would come back. But they never did. And now this lightsaber has lead me to you.” Luke asks if she knows about the force. Rey tells her it’s what she used to defeat Kylo Ren. Luke then says the resistance is not the only reason why she’s here.

Rey says she needs his help. She doesn’t know who she is, and she’s scared because she feels like she’s going to encounter Kylo Ren again. Luke then tells her that he once thought Kylo was the chosen one, but he destroyed everything he had. Rey interrupts him and asks him to train her and that kylo failed him and she won’t. She says she knows she’s not the chosen one but that if Luke’s not going to help the resistance himself, he should train her so she can go back and fight Kylo. Luke says he has to think about it and leaves. Rey sits there. Chewbacca meets porgs, they surprise him by jumping onto him. He catches on thats jumping around annoyingly and eats it. Rey tells him to spit it out. He does. Other porgs jump on R2. He zaps one.

Wipe to: the raddus meeting up with like a grungy looking really big ship. Inside Leia and poe meet Holdo and Maz. Holdo and Leia embrace as Leia is relieved Holdo is alive. Poe tells Holdo the first orders artisinal was massive, and that the resistance doesn’t stand a chance without backing from the republic. Holdo then tells him there is no more republic and that the only option now is to side with the first order. This upsets Rose as she doesn’t know if her sister is alive or not, and she says that the first order killed her parents and she was practically raised by the resistance. Holdo tells her it’s not her place to discuss this given as the first order is a serious threat, and Finn asks where they get all their money and resources from. Maz says that rumour has it Snoke funnels money from the planet cantonica, as he owns and operates several casino and illegal betting things. Poe says that even if the first orders money source is taken out they still have way too many vessels and machines.

Poe also says it's impossible as Snoke probably owns the police there too. Maz then steps up and says she knows of a splicer in Canto Bight jail that could possibly break into Snokes bank. But somebody would have to break him out. Finn says that he'll do it, but Rose doesn't want to. Finn tells her that he was once a stormtrooper but now he has something to fight for, and that paige would want her to fight. Rose then agrees, but only to monitor Finns spinal implant.

from this point, he only answers questions cause his boring synopsis put people in coma:

Yes they do fight on ach-to. Here's what happens leading up to this moment: Luke has discovered Reys strength - we see this meditating scene in the trailer - this freaks Luke out. Meanwhile after Kylo and crew wreck havoc in the D'Quar base they find the map to skywalker. Kylo does not want to give it to Snoke, but Hux finds out about it and tells Snoke that the map has been found. Snoke, presumably too weak, sends Kylo Ren to do this one last test - he also thinks Kylo shot at Leia - but he's sending the Knights of Ren with Kylo to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid as he is concerned about Kylo's fascination with Rey (He mind rapes Kylo). They go and Luke pulls Kylo's ship out of the sky. It crashes and the other knights land. Rey tells Luke he has to fight Kylo but Luke does not use his lightsaber anymore so he says no and tells Rey to do it. Kylo already sends the knights after Luke and they fight. Luke does a lot of cool force moves like ground explosions, calling lightning, and like force punches/hits with his caddle prod. Meanwhile Rey is attacking Kylo and Kylo is fighting back in self defence trying to get her to listen but shes still mad at the fact he killed Han. As for spoilers and twists, yes I will get into them as there are a number of little twists placed througuhout the film

Um so the first twist is this: Luke says Kylo destroyed the temple - but what he means by this is that Kylo found out vader was his grandfather, and luke lied to him about this. He tells the other students about Luke's lies and gets them to attack luke with him. Luke fought back in self defence. In the process, destroying his temple. He failed Kylo and his school, killing all of his students, the surviving ones going off with Kylo, as luke projected him to be the chosen one opposed to him.

yes he waves the stick, and like a whoosh of force comes out and knocks 2 of them into a cliff, and they get crushed by rocks

Yes Luke uses it at the end. Rey and Kylo do infact fight the praetorian guards and they do good for a while but they get bested. Luke breaks into the sumpremacy and uses it there and kills all the guards like really fast. He spends the whole film saying he's never going to use it again, and that the Jedi is no more, but he finally embraces it again

As for anakin there is no visual representation of him but yes Hayden Christenson, Ewan McGreggor, and Frank Oz all have vocal cameos. They talk to Luke as he meditates looking at the tatooine suns. Rey then comes up to him and he gets mad at her for breaking his concentration

Ok so here's another twist. Snoke's body is not his real body. He jumps from body to body and decays their life force and then jumps to another - going back to Rey's parents, Luke tells them that Snoke was looking for force sensitive infants and children to feed off of. Rey was hidden on Jakku, and Snoke moved onto Ben. Once he gets Rey, he throws Kylo Ren aside and starts draining the life force from her, which we see in the trailer.
Luke says: "It ends here Snoke. You're done." But Snoke starts to laugh - his eyes roll back in his head, and his body sort of caves in. Rey collapses as Snoke possesses her.

Rey attacks Kylo Ren and Luke and they fight her off. Eventually, Kylo knocks her out and they escape back to Crait

Because Hux directly disobeyed a command from the supreme leader

btw holy s*** this captcha thing is annoying

Ok so there are four plots going on, I will summarize what happens in each plot

Also as for Rey's parents: They were first order officers that discovered Rey was force sensitive when she was a kid. They then discovered Snokes plan and decided to hide her from him.

Ok Finn and Rose:

Finn and rose receive word that snokes money is being funneled through SEVERAL casinos, betting tracks, illegal alien fights and stuff - essentially, snoke owns the entire Canto Bight city and it's entirely first order run.

Finn and Rose need to break DJ out of jail. They discover that Canto Bight is extremely hard to get into and that it's a high possibility they might get recognized at the city entrance, so they sneak in via a back canal on a space boat. After a luxury cruise spots them making the illegal entry the canto bight aqua police are called and they chase them into the city. Finn and Rose steal a speeder from an alien and zoom off in it, being followed by the police speeders. Eventually they pull into traffic and cause one speeder to like turn sideways into an intersection and the canto bight police speeders all crash into eachother. They make way through a betting track, and into the back of a casino. They both are obviously out of place and try to act formal. Finn starts betting at a table and is doing good until his back starts hurting. It turns out his biohexacrypt is starting to run low on charge and his paralysis is coming back. He bends down in excruciating pain and that calls attention to himself. They run out back through the stables and set a bunch of fathiers on the loose after casino management started to chase them out. They hop on one and ride off. Finn is in excruciating pain and they stop at a weird alien tech store where they upgrade his back technology. When there they get blasters too. They go to the police station and theres a big fight sequence. Eventually, they break DJ out, and escape on his ship thats been compounded by the police

DJ says that the source to Snoke's vault per say is not going to be on Canto bight but rather on his ship and that they would have to break in in order to bankrupt Snoke as he would have to do it from the source. They do this and get away with it for a bit. But BB8 and BB9E get into like a fight and they get called out. DJ, having worked for the first order before backs out and pretends like he was in on it. Finn and Rose are s*** out of luck, and then captain phasma comes in. DJ tries to play it off like he sold them out but Phasma calls him out for working with Maz and accuses him of being a resistance sympathizer. She then kills him

The scene itself probably plays out for like 15-20 minutes in the actual movie. My summary doesn't really do it justice, but the kids kind of like worship kylo as he is easily the best force user, and its kind of implied that luke is not the best teacher

So Kylo stabbing a dude in the rain is never mentioned, only thing that's mentioned when Rey talks about the flashback is Luke's temple destruction. We'll have to leave that one up to J.J.

As for the chosen one prophecy ill get back to that in my explanation for Luke and Rey

Yes he is meditating the camera spins around him, one spin he's looking at the achto cost next spin its the twin suns on tatooine and the skywalker theme swells up

It's never explicitly stated, and that reveal happens after luke has already killed them all. Nope same actors, and by kids I mean they're actually like late teenagers early 20s extras essentially.

The movie is super long

>>91091725
Nope never addressed [crystal and compass] though it lights up when he uses the force. The more he uses it the brighter it gets

After like Snoke's spirit leaves Rey, Leia goes to her and embraces her for bringing Kylo back to her. At this point theres a rumble and the first order invades the base they're in lead by Kylo Ren, presumably under the influence of Snoke. They are lead onto a ship that flies away as Luke, Finn, and Rose watch

Yes they team up back on the supremacy, but kylos eyes have turned ice blue and its presumed that snoke has possessed him. He went to Crait with Luke and Rey once she was knocked out. After he kind of leaves the picture, he comes back possessed with a bunch of troopers

Ok so Luke and Rey/Kylo Story

The next day Rey, Chewie and R2 disturb Luke from meditation - the Tatooine scene i mentioned. Rey asks Luke if he's made up his mind to which Luke tells her to calm down. He asks her to come sit and meditate with him. She does. He asks her more about Kylo and what happens to which she says she doesn't know. She says she tapped into some sort of primal instinct and can't explain it. Luke tells her to try and do that now. He tells her to clear her mind and focus. He asks her what she sees. Rey kind of ignores him and gets lost. She hears the screaming of kylo murdering the students (but the twist that it was luke doing it), and freaks out and blows up the rocks sending her flying back and luke flying back. She almost falls off a cliff when Luke catches her with the force. He says "You may not be welcome here, but I'm not going to let you die". Rey asks to let that little thing slip and if he can still train her to which luke says hes only seen her raw strength once before and that was in kylo ren. Luke says there is no use in training Rey because her power is too uncontrollable and she let's herself get lost.

Anyways next scene with them is the knights of ren scene where they fight at nighttime. When Luke fights the knights, Rey attacks Kylo, and Kylo tries to defend himself to talk to her. Rey swings aggressively at Kylo and slips and falls off the side of a cliff into water and starts to drown. Kylo jumps in after her and pulls her to a cove. Kylo says "I don't want to hurt you, I just want to talk". They talk a little before being found out by Luke who throws Kylo around. Rey tries to stop him telling her that he saved her life, but Luke ignores her. Rey eventually has a big burst of anger that sends both of them flying.

So after Kylo leaves (he tells Snoke that he killed Skywalker and the girl), Rey decides to train to fight snoke. She swings her staff around and then switches to the lightsaber. Luke watches her and asks her if she wants to know the truth about the Jedi. He takes her to to tree where these journals are and tells Rey about how they chronicle the first force users before Jedi and Sith existed. How the factions were only created due to disagreement on how the force should be used, and luke says that the force takes what it gives. There are weird looking creatures on the island that live in the trees surrounding the main tree. They take care of the books in the tree.

Does anyone want to know anything else? And yes the padawans come at Luke with lightsabers. But he takes care of them pretty easily. A lot of it happens off of camera. Once fighting the last few padawans the temple blows up sending Luke into a pile of debris. This gives Kylo and the rest time to escape

ATM he's still BSing with his answers.

[ISeeAnIsland]

the same FAF who posts FAF on reddit from his sock accounts and on 4chan is at it again. This time, Rey and Kylo get possessed by Snoke all with ice-blue eyes! Night King Kylo!

http://boards.4chan.org/tv/thread/91087044

*snips FAF "leak"*

ATM he's still BSing with his answers.

@vaderito

He sure is persistent with the fake leaks. Even NFJ seemed to (mostly) figure out when to quit...

[vaderito]

FAF contues:

they fight for a bit as the resistance bombs the supremacy, eventually the damage becomes so bad that the supremacy splits in half, finn and rose escape on escape pods and head back to crait


yes it gets shot out of the sky and plummets into a crait mine. no word on whether chewie makes it out or not, but he ends up saving everybody else


uhh i already said earlier essentially kylo is possessed by Snoke and kidnaps her and rey. i honestly have no clue how theyre going to get around carries death in episode 8

mmmm maybe he's been talking to ben but that doesn't mean he wasn't eating other baby's. he was saving ben until he completed his training and reached full potential so he could possess him. there is a space battle, but not the first ten minutes, that probably happens like 15 minutes into the film

yes there is a chase through the mines, doesn't mean it can't get shot back into them

[RosiePancake]

Now there are 2 factions of leaker
Pro-Reylo leakers (with hug, embrace, kiss, force-bond, force-whatever-new-powers) VS. Anti-Reylo (plus Luke is powerful af, he could kill everyone in the room and he also over-powers the #rawpowahcouple and saves their asses in the end) leakers

[Kylo Rey]

the same FAF who posts FAF on reddit from his sock accounts and on 4chan is at it again. This time, Rey and Kylo get possessed by Snoke all with ice-blue eyes! Night King Kylo!

http://boards.4chan.org/tv/thread/91087044

The film opens in space (duh) - Kylo Ren’s shuttle flies up from the bottom of the frame, the camera panning up with it. It heads towards the supremacy. We see Kylo Ren in the shuttle. Hux is looking out the window. Hux says “we’re not going to see Supreme Leader Snoke yet.” The two talk, with Kylo being pretty out of it - presumably thinking about Rey. On the supremacy Kylo is taken on a floating bed to a medical bay while Hux goes to talk to Snoke about the destruction of Starkiller. Hux walks into Snoke’s throne room expecting to be reprimanded for the destruction of Starkiller but Snoke smiles and seems unbothered. He requests Kylo be brought to him at once, but Hux tells him he’s still recovering in the medical bay. Snoke extends his arm and starts to “force squeeze” Hux. (I think the force squeeze is a mixture of draining the life force from people and crushing them at the same time - more on that later). He drops Hux and Hux gets up quickly. Just then Kylo Ren walks in. They both look at him as he walks in and we see a cool POV shot as he gets closer to Snoke and Hux - with Snokes music also getting louder too. Snoke says to Kylo: “Because of you, the resistance has destroyed Starkiller base, and the girl has gotten to Skywalker.” Kylo apologizes and tells Snoke that the girl had “Raw power”. He dismisses Kylo and tells Hux that they are going to “obliterate D’Quar”, Leia included and that Kylo was to personally lead the fleet against Leia - as a test of allegiance. Kylo insists he can do it and Snoke tells them to see to it. They leave and Hux tells him the supreme leader will destroy him if he fails to do what he is told. He gets in an elevator and smashes his helmet out of frustration

[spolier]Wipe to D’Quar: We see the millennium falcon fly off the planet. Leia stands in the crowd at the end of the force awakens and watches it leaving. Poe comes up to her and tells her to come quick. They hurry over to the medical bay where we see Finn in a pod crashing. Poe says he doesn’t know what’s wrong and he can’t let Finn die. They both struggle to get it working when Rose Tico comes running in crying. She apologizes and says she was saying goodbye to her sister Paige, and that she is the mechanic for Finns pod. She recharges Finn’s biohexacrypt (spinal implant) and sits by his side looking depressed. Poe thanks her and goes off with Leia. Leia tells him he can’t spend his time worrying about Finn, and that the first order will be on their way soon and they need to evacuate the planet. We see Finn sleeping. He wakes up screaming “Rey!” This freaks rose out and she drops all her stuff. Finn is flipping out because he can’t move. He asks where he his and she says the resistance base. She is kind of flabbergasted by Finn and he’s like “what’s so funny?” And she’s like “I heard stories about you, breaking into starkiller and disabling the oscillator” (even though it was Han). Finn plays it up that he’s some sort of big shot hero and that he’s ready to get up. Rose tells him not to as he’s still charging so it will hurt. Finn says it’s no big deal and he sits up in pain but tries to hide it and play it off but he’s clearly like whimpering. Poe and leia talk about what they’re going to do and leia says they need to set up a blockade, to Poe’s dismay. Leia says they have no choice if they want to fend off the dreadnaught that the first order is going to send. Just then rose shows up and says “look who’s back”. Finn staggers into the room, and Poe and Finn reunite.[/spolier]

feel free to ask questions along the way

Finn asks where Rey is. Poe says she went off with chewbacca to find Luke and Finn says something like “thank goodness that Wookiee’s Gone”. He asks what they’re going to do and Poe says they’re going to fight.

Wipe to ach-to: the millennium falcon flies into frame. We see slow motion jump cuts recreating the last few minutes of TFA. Rey pulls out the lightsaber. Luke takes it and stares at it in his hands. He says “what are you doing here? Why do you have this?” Rey says “General leia organa sent me. The resistance needs you.” Luke tells her that she needs to leave and that he’s of no help. Rey tells him that he defeated the emperor, and restored peace to the galaxy to which Luke says “there will never be peace in the galaxy.” He then walks away, and says “and take this too”. He gives the lightsaber back to rey. Rey follows him very confused. She tells him that she’s heard stories about him to which Luke says they’re not true. Luke stops at the edge of a cliff overlooking the falcon, Chewie, and R2. He turns to Rey and angrily asks what they’re doing there. Rey says they came because they wanted to see him. Luke says that he doesn’t want to see them and walks away. Rey calls out “Han solo”. Luke turns around. Rey says “you know him”. Luke says “you mean knew”. Rey then says something like “if you knew he was dead why didn’t you come”. Luke stares and then walks away. Rey calls for him to come back but he ignores her.

We see the first order pull out of hyperspace. The camera pans around to reveal they are at D’Quar. We see the resistance panicking - we see the monkey and Carrie Fischer’s daughter confirming the presence of tie fighters and dreadnaughts. There’s a big ship fight and the blockade takes hits. Poe blows up tiefighters and takes out one of the dreadnaught cannons. Just then like 6 more dreadnaughts show up and start blowing up resistance ships. They also deploy like thousands of tiefighters. When it looks like all hope is lost, the raddus shows up out of hyperspace blowing up hundreds of tiefighters. Leia boards the ship and forces Poe to come, leaving his squadron behind. Eventually he does and then watches out the window as a bunch of his comrades get blown up. We see Kylo in a tiefighter, someone through the headpiece tells him leia got on the raddus. Kylo spins through some debris and approaches the raddus. He senses leia and leia senses him. He hesitates. Another tie fighter comes up from behind him and shoots at the ship blowing things up. Poe runs back to his xwing to try and rejoin the fight but it gets blown up. Kylo sits there realizing what he has done. The raddus tries to jump into hyperspace but something’s wrong with the engine. Bb units from the resistance hear this and run out of the room. They run by BB-8 and He sees them and joins them. Kylo flies around some more just trying to look like he’s doing something. Just then the raddus boosts into hyperspace. BB-8 and the other bb units kind of like party together. Leia says they’re going to meet with maz kanata and an old friend holdo on a ship that’s harbouring the survivors of the senate and mazs castle attack.

Achto at night: Rey sits at a fire with chewbacca. He is sad. Rey asks how long he knew Han. He can’t talk. R2 is sad too because Luke didn’t want to see him. Rey asks chewbacca what happened to Luke. Chewbacca says he doesn’t know. Rey turns to R2 and says “what happened there? The night with the fire?” R2 beeps but we don’t know what he says. Just then we hear Luke’s voice. He asks what they’re talking about. We see him standing there. He comes out from the dark into the light of the fire. Rey looks away. Chewie looks down. Luke steps forward. He says something like “How do you know about what happened?” Rey looks at him, not saying anything. Luke then says “who are you?” She says “I’m Rey. And Han Solo told me about what happened.” Luke then says something like “that’s not all; how did you get my father’s lightsaber?” Rey says she found it at Maz Kanata’s castle. Luke asks how she found it there and she says it called to her. She then tells him about her vision and what she saw. It almost seems like Luke recognizes her here. He then asks her where her family is. She says “they left me a long time ago and for a while it seemed like they would come back. But they never did. And now this lightsaber has lead me to you.” Luke asks if she knows about the force. Rey tells her it’s what she used to defeat Kylo Ren. Luke then says the resistance is not the only reason why she’s here.

Rey says she needs his help. She doesn’t know who she is, and she’s scared because she feels like she’s going to encounter Kylo Ren again. Luke then tells her that he once thought Kylo was the chosen one, but he destroyed everything he had. Rey interrupts him and asks him to train her and that kylo failed him and she won’t. She says she knows she’s not the chosen one but that if Luke’s not going to help the resistance himself, he should train her so she can go back and fight Kylo. Luke says he has to think about it and leaves. Rey sits there. Chewbacca meets porgs, they surprise him by jumping onto him. He catches on thats jumping around annoyingly and eats it. Rey tells him to spit it out. He does. Other porgs jump on R2. He zaps one.

Wipe to: the raddus meeting up with like a grungy looking really big ship. Inside Leia and poe meet Holdo and Maz. Holdo and Leia embrace as Leia is relieved Holdo is alive. Poe tells Holdo the first orders artisinal was massive, and that the resistance doesn’t stand a chance without backing from the republic. Holdo then tells him there is no more republic and that the only option now is to side with the first order. This upsets Rose as she doesn’t know if her sister is alive or not, and she says that the first order killed her parents and she was practically raised by the resistance. Holdo tells her it’s not her place to discuss this given as the first order is a serious threat, and Finn asks where they get all their money and resources from. Maz says that rumour has it Snoke funnels money from the planet cantonica, as he owns and operates several casino and illegal betting things. Poe says that even if the first orders money source is taken out they still have way too many vessels and machines.

Poe also says it's impossible as Snoke probably owns the police there too. Maz then steps up and says she knows of a splicer in Canto Bight jail that could possibly break into Snokes bank. But somebody would have to break him out. Finn says that he'll do it, but Rose doesn't want to. Finn tells her that he was once a stormtrooper but now he has something to fight for, and that paige would want her to fight. Rose then agrees, but only to monitor Finns spinal implant.

from this point, he only answers questions cause his boring synopsis put people in coma:

Yes they do fight on ach-to. Here's what happens leading up to this moment: Luke has discovered Reys strength - we see this meditating scene in the trailer - this freaks Luke out. Meanwhile after Kylo and crew wreck havoc in the D'Quar base they find the map to skywalker. Kylo does not want to give it to Snoke, but Hux finds out about it and tells Snoke that the map has been found. Snoke, presumably too weak, sends Kylo Ren to do this one last test - he also thinks Kylo shot at Leia - but he's sending the Knights of Ren with Kylo to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid as he is concerned about Kylo's fascination with Rey (He mind rapes Kylo). They go and Luke pulls Kylo's ship out of the sky. It crashes and the other knights land. Rey tells Luke he has to fight Kylo but Luke does not use his lightsaber anymore so he says no and tells Rey to do it. Kylo already sends the knights after Luke and they fight. Luke does a lot of cool force moves like ground explosions, calling lightning, and like force punches/hits with his caddle prod. Meanwhile Rey is attacking Kylo and Kylo is fighting back in self defence trying to get her to listen but shes still mad at the fact he killed Han. As for spoilers and twists, yes I will get into them as there are a number of little twists placed througuhout the film

Um so the first twist is this: Luke says Kylo destroyed the temple - but what he means by this is that Kylo found out vader was his grandfather, and luke lied to him about this. He tells the other students about Luke's lies and gets them to attack luke with him. Luke fought back in self defence. In the process, destroying his temple. He failed Kylo and his school, killing all of his students, the surviving ones going off with Kylo, as luke projected him to be the chosen one opposed to him.

yes he waves the stick, and like a whoosh of force comes out and knocks 2 of them into a cliff, and they get crushed by rocks

Yes Luke uses it at the end. Rey and Kylo do infact fight the praetorian guards and they do good for a while but they get bested. Luke breaks into the sumpremacy and uses it there and kills all the guards like really fast. He spends the whole film saying he's never going to use it again, and that the Jedi is no more, but he finally embraces it again

As for anakin there is no visual representation of him but yes Hayden Christenson, Ewan McGreggor, and Frank Oz all have vocal cameos. They talk to Luke as he meditates looking at the tatooine suns. Rey then comes up to him and he gets mad at her for breaking his concentration

Ok so here's another twist. Snoke's body is not his real body. He jumps from body to body and decays their life force and then jumps to another - going back to Rey's parents, Luke tells them that Snoke was looking for force sensitive infants and children to feed off of. Rey was hidden on Jakku, and Snoke moved onto Ben. Once he gets Rey, he throws Kylo Ren aside and starts draining the life force from her, which we see in the trailer.
Luke says: "It ends here Snoke. You're done." But Snoke starts to laugh - his eyes roll back in his head, and his body sort of caves in. Rey collapses as Snoke possesses her.

Rey attacks Kylo Ren and Luke and they fight her off. Eventually, Kylo knocks her out and they escape back to Crait

Because Hux directly disobeyed a command from the supreme leader

btw holy s*** this captcha thing is annoying

Ok so there are four plots going on, I will summarize what happens in each plot

Also as for Rey's parents: They were first order officers that discovered Rey was force sensitive when she was a kid. They then discovered Snokes plan and decided to hide her from him.

Ok Finn and Rose:

Finn and rose receive word that snokes money is being funneled through SEVERAL casinos, betting tracks, illegal alien fights and stuff - essentially, snoke owns the entire Canto Bight city and it's entirely first order run.

Finn and Rose need to break DJ out of jail. They discover that Canto Bight is extremely hard to get into and that it's a high possibility they might get recognized at the city entrance, so they sneak in via a back canal on a space boat. After a luxury cruise spots them making the illegal entry the canto bight aqua police are called and they chase them into the city. Finn and Rose steal a speeder from an alien and zoom off in it, being followed by the police speeders. Eventually they pull into traffic and cause one speeder to like turn sideways into an intersection and the canto bight police speeders all crash into eachother. They make way through a betting track, and into the back of a casino. They both are obviously out of place and try to act formal. Finn starts betting at a table and is doing good until his back starts hurting. It turns out his biohexacrypt is starting to run low on charge and his paralysis is coming back. He bends down in excruciating pain and that calls attention to himself. They run out back through the stables and set a bunch of fathiers on the loose after casino management started to chase them out. They hop on one and ride off. Finn is in excruciating pain and they stop at a weird alien tech store where they upgrade his back technology. When there they get blasters too. They go to the police station and theres a big fight sequence. Eventually, they break DJ out, and escape on his ship thats been compounded by the police

DJ says that the source to Snoke's vault per say is not going to be on Canto bight but rather on his ship and that they would have to break in in order to bankrupt Snoke as he would have to do it from the source. They do this and get away with it for a bit. But BB8 and BB9E get into like a fight and they get called out. DJ, having worked for the first order before backs out and pretends like he was in on it. Finn and Rose are s*** out of luck, and then captain phasma comes in. DJ tries to play it off like he sold them out but Phasma calls him out for working with Maz and accuses him of being a resistance sympathizer. She then kills him

The scene itself probably plays out for like 15-20 minutes in the actual movie. My summary doesn't really do it justice, but the kids kind of like worship kylo as he is easily the best force user, and its kind of implied that luke is not the best teacher

So Kylo stabbing a dude in the rain is never mentioned, only thing that's mentioned when Rey talks about the flashback is Luke's temple destruction. We'll have to leave that one up to J.J.

As for the chosen one prophecy ill get back to that in my explanation for Luke and Rey

Yes he is meditating the camera spins around him, one spin he's looking at the achto cost next spin its the twin suns on tatooine and the skywalker theme swells up

It's never explicitly stated, and that reveal happens after luke has already killed them all. Nope same actors, and by kids I mean they're actually like late teenagers early 20s extras essentially.

The movie is super long

>>91091725
Nope never addressed [crystal and compass] though it lights up when he uses the force. The more he uses it the brighter it gets

After like Snoke's spirit leaves Rey, Leia goes to her and embraces her for bringing Kylo back to her. At this point theres a rumble and the first order invades the base they're in lead by Kylo Ren, presumably under the influence of Snoke. They are lead onto a ship that flies away as Luke, Finn, and Rose watch

Yes they team up back on the supremacy, but kylos eyes have turned ice blue and its presumed that snoke has possessed him. He went to Crait with Luke and Rey once she was knocked out. After he kind of leaves the picture, he comes back possessed with a bunch of troopers

Ok so Luke and Rey/Kylo Story

The next day Rey, Chewie and R2 disturb Luke from meditation - the Tatooine scene i mentioned. Rey asks Luke if he's made up his mind to which Luke tells her to calm down. He asks her to come sit and meditate with him. She does. He asks her more about Kylo and what happens to which she says she doesn't know. She says she tapped into some sort of primal instinct and can't explain it. Luke tells her to try and do that now. He tells her to clear her mind and focus. He asks her what she sees. Rey kind of ignores him and gets lost. She hears the screaming of kylo murdering the students (but the twist that it was luke doing it), and freaks out and blows up the rocks sending her flying back and luke flying back. She almost falls off a cliff when Luke catches her with the force. He says "You may not be welcome here, but I'm not going to let you die". Rey asks to let that little thing slip and if he can still train her to which luke says hes only seen her raw strength once before and that was in kylo ren. Luke says there is no use in training Rey because her power is too uncontrollable and she let's herself get lost.

Anyways next scene with them is the knights of ren scene where they fight at nighttime. When Luke fights the knights, Rey attacks Kylo, and Kylo tries to defend himself to talk to her. Rey swings aggressively at Kylo and slips and falls off the side of a cliff into water and starts to drown. Kylo jumps in after her and pulls her to a cove. Kylo says "I don't want to hurt you, I just want to talk". They talk a little before being found out by Luke who throws Kylo around. Rey tries to stop him telling her that he saved her life, but Luke ignores her. Rey eventually has a big burst of anger that sends both of them flying.

So after Kylo leaves (he tells Snoke that he killed Skywalker and the girl), Rey decides to train to fight snoke. She swings her staff around and then switches to the lightsaber. Luke watches her and asks her if she wants to know the truth about the Jedi. He takes her to to tree where these journals are and tells Rey about how they chronicle the first force users before Jedi and Sith existed. How the factions were only created due to disagreement on how the force should be used, and luke says that the force takes what it gives. There are weird looking creatures on the island that live in the trees surrounding the main tree. They take care of the books in the tree.

Does anyone want to know anything else? And yes the padawans come at Luke with lightsabers. But he takes care of them pretty easily. A lot of it happens off of camera. Once fighting the last few padawans the temple blows up sending Luke into a pile of debris. This gives Kylo and the rest time to escape

ATM he's still BSing with his answers.

@vaderito

Lol ManaByte from the MSW crew is convinced this is real - all because he insists that nobody believed the TFA plot that leaked a week before because Kylo's real name was Ben. Yeah, no offence, but I could write a better story than that ffs. Little emphasis of Raw Powah, no Luke blowing up the hut, the Kylo/Luke flashback scene is 15-20 mins long (wtf, is this movie supposed to be 4hrs long???), Luke becomes the hero etc etc. RJ keeps gushing about Kylo but this is the backstory he came up with??? It destroys BOTH Kylo and Luke's characters in the process.

[vaderito]

Now there are 2 factions of leaker
Pro-Reylo leakers (with hug, embrace, kiss, force-bond, force-whatever-new-powers) VS. Anti-Reylo (plus Luke is powerful af, he could kill everyone in the room and he also over-powers the #rawpowahcouple and saves their asses in the end) leakers

@RosiePancake

pro-reylo leakers are really antis cause they come up with the worst possible reylo scenarios.

[Piper Maru]

I don't think it is that bad, it's actually a pretty decent compilation of several metas/theories from our fandom without all the "mimimi eternal love they kiss in the rain".

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