Episode IX CRACK spoiler discussion thread

[SkyStar]

Everyone's favorite thread for Episode IX is here. Dump all the crack spoilers here and let's have a laugh on those dry desert days.

[Darth_Awakened]

Thank you!

[AhsokaTano]

@SkyStar

Yaay!!! Thank you !!!!

[vaderito]

Ok, we have to distinguish between real crack such as Fetus Snoke Leak and stuff that may be real (like Bothan Spy reports that turned out true after sounding very plausible to begin with). So I'd file Snokedemort here but this new leak about Malta Studio and other stuff (that may be a mix of real and fake), I'd keep in Spoilers until proven wrong.

[Darth_Awakened]

Everything is crack until is proven otherwise.

[ISeeAnIsland]

I can't tell you how happy I am to see this thread opened!

[vaderito]

this is my favorite thread so I'm reposting the link to everyone's favorite Fetus Snokedemort Leak:

https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsCantina/comments/8dqsax/4chan_spoilers_its_funny/

[ISeeAnIsland]

Here's the new Rey's Secret Love Child leak. (Note that this guy did have a few things correct very early on about TLJ):

https://www.reddit.com/r/starwarsspeculation/comments/8gks0k/i_have_read_a_very_early_storyboard_for_episode_ix/

I know this place gets a million fake leaks a month so I understand the skepticism and the reception I got two years ago when I shared the early storyboard for Episode VIII.

I was hesitant to come forward this early but with the overnight 4chan leak surfacing (which is legit) I figured I’d come forward so people can protect others who do not want to be spoiled.

Before you go on if you don’t remember me from two years ago and you’re already ready to call BS and read what I have to say somewhat recklessly I ask that you revisit my thread from two years ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/starwarsspeculation/comments/3xtld8/i_have_read_a_very_early_storyboard_for_episode/

If you’re still here just know that the big plot points of IX will probably be spoiled for you if you continue reading this.

Plot A would progress like this:

5 years after The Last Jedi the Resistance is no longer centralized and is not a popular idea among the galaxy. Kylo Ren’s rule over the galaxy is seen by most as benevolent. Many within the Resistance itself are questioning why they should even be fighting.

Not surprisingly, Rey, Poe, Finn, and Leia are all still holding fast to the idea the galaxy should not be under empirical rule.

They are tipped off by a mole inside the First Order promising that if they follow their lead, they will discover the horrifying true nature of the First Order.

The tip leads them to a planet in the unknown regions, and they must infiltrate a First Order command station to extract a young female alien prodigy who is the key to navigating these regions.

After a successful rescue of the girl who is essentially a prisoner of the First Order, they discover a planet entirely comprised of an ocean. Beneath its waters is the secret to the First Order’s unlimited resources, an ancient manufacturing station literally powered by the populations of conquered worlds of the unknown regions.

This entire A plot revolves around liberating the captives before they are exterminated and exposing these horrors to the galaxy at large. This plot is resolved with the Unknown Regions becoming united and preparing for war with the known regions.

The B plot revolves around Kylo Ren hunting down other Force users in secret using the Knights of Ren and trying to discover the mole among his ranks. At the end of the film it’s revealed Hux is the mole and is trying to get the galaxy to revolt against Ren’s empire and believes he can claim the throne after the fallout.

Many Force users have sought out Rey for protection, both really young and really old.

Rey and Kylo still converse through the force and can even manifest their whole presence in front of each other. It is slowly revealed they secretly love each other.

The big reveal in the film is that one of Rey’s “students” is actually her child, and Kylo becomes so enraged upon finding this that he nearly kills Rey who is only saved last minute by Leia.

As with last time I will add the disclaimer that this is an early story board but the heart of the film is there with secret love child and the theme of an Empire thriving but at a terrible cost. You can expect the story to play out very close to this.

[Riri]

Didn't this person get the canto bight and luke-rey-Kylo scenes right for TLJ?

The secret love child is Ben's apparently. Hmmm. Hand sex? Dunno love that Reylo are secretly in love, but HATE that Ben tries to kill her urgh. Hoping half of this is FAF

[rawpowah]

@Riri

He didn't iirc. Here's his Canto Bight fanfic:

"Finn and Poe meet a refugee and the three of them spend most of the story evading bounty hunters and the First Order. Finn falls for the refugee. Head over heels. On a planet that's essentially the Las Vegas of the Galaxy, the refugee turns on Finn and Poe and collects the bounty on their heads. They are captured and tortured on this planet. It's here that Rey and Kylo fight. Finn manages an escape but Poe is captured and sent to what is essentially maximum security for the First Order."

[Darth Dingbat]

See, the weird thing about that leaker is that he obviously got the story wrong, but some of the details were uncannily accurate. Among others, the mention of a Las Vegas planet. He posted that "leak" in December 2015, when NOBODY knew about Canto Bight. That was a really lucky guess, and back then it made me wonder if he'd actually seen some pieces of concept art without knowing the context.

[ISeeAnIsland]

See, the weird thing about that leaker is that he obviously got the story wrong, but some of the details were uncannily accurate. Among others, the mention of a Las Vegas planet. He posted that "leak" in December 2015, when NOBODY knew about Canto Bight. That was a really lucky guess, and back then it made me wonder if he'd actually seen some pieces of concept art without knowing the context.

@Darth Dingbat

Right. Plus, in Rian's early script/treatment, it was Poe and Finn who went to Canto Bight together. Rian only switched Finn's companion to Rose when he felt that the Finn/Poe "bromance" was too boring. I can easily see him switching things up where the Refugee LI becomes Finn's Resistance companion, and then creating DJ to be the one who betrays the CB crew and collects the bounty.

This new one is probably very likely FAF, but I do think his TLJ leak was interesting...

[Cowgirlsamurai]

OMG, WUT? Kylo and Rey are secretly in love, but she also has a kid in that time? Who’s the kid’s DAD supposed to be??? It obviously isn’t Kylo if he tries to kill her over it. (“You traitorous h**!”) I just...

[special_cases]

Even if it's real, there is no guarantee that the leaker got all details right from storyboards. I don't believe that Kylo will want to kill Rey for real, just that the reaction will be very emotional.

[ISeeAnIsland]

Even if it's real, there is no guarantee that the leaker got all details right from storyboards. I don't believe that Kylo will want to kill Rey for real, just that the reaction will be very emotional.

@special_cases

Their TLJ "leak" read very much like someone who maybe saw a few storyboards/some concept art but had little to no context and tried to fill in the details himself.

If there's any truth to this leak, that's probably the case here. Like, I don't buy Kylo knowingly having a slave planet to keep the First Order war machine going...but I would buy Hux having something like that behind Kylo's back. That sort of thing isn't something that someone who got a glimpse of a few storyboards is likely to know. I could buy Kylo becoming enraged (in fact, I would expect it) at finding out that Rey had been hiding their secret love child from him...to the point where he's destroying things...but I just don't buy him intentionally trying to kill the mother of his child.

It'll be fun to see if any of this stuff pans out.

I do wonder if "Rey is going to be revealed as Palpatine's granddaughter" is a false info plant by LF that's been spread around. This seems to be a very common "reveal" by a lot of leakers who at least act fairly confident that they're "in the know" about these movies.

[Cowgirlsamurai]

@ISeeAnIsland

Whoa. So the child is implied to be Kylo’s?

1.) I don’t see Rey getting it on with Kylo while he’s head of the FO (Benperor or not)
2.) I cant see him raging at Rey to the point of trying to murder her when it’s revealed she’s the mother of his child (whether she’d been hiding it or not...)

[special_cases]

Reylo secret child mirrors TPM. Also, TPM had underwater scene which was absolutely fantastic production.

[MeadowofAshes]

Benperor Love Child -- sign me up! I'd pay money to see Kylo/Reylo hater reactions to this.

[snufkin]

Remember every off-the-wall scenario various crack spoilers had with the line, "this is what Kasdan meant by going dark and weird!" - this one certainly qualifies because logic after TLJ dictates any babymaking those two do will be strictly the good 'ol fashioned way, not via IVF and teledildonics.

@MeadowofAshes - oh gosh, same. I'm just cackling imagining how various outlets like the Mary Sue would probably explode in reaction to this plot line because they've been cranking out sh*tty 'feminist' hot takes about the ST since 2015.

[Darth_Awakened]

Aaaaaah!

The FAFs are my crack. I'am an addict.

Nothing goes better alongside morning coffee. I even kinda like it in all of its craziness.

[ISeeAnIsland]

Aaaaaah!

The FAFs are my crack. I'am an addict.

Nothing goes better alongside morning coffee. I even kinda like it in all of its craziness.

@Darth_Awakened

It's a 100x better than a Beautiful Friendship Gang vs. The Evil First Order movie.

[Night Huntress]

Someone on twitter had the idea that this might be from the "old script" while Trevorrow was still in charge (because Leia is still in the story)...if that's the case I really understand why he got fired

But I don't believe any of if- it's FAF

I know TFA got leaked but Disney seemed to have learned...since they succeeded in keeping TLJ's story pretty much secret till the very end.
Sure some details from filming got leaked (Debrovnik & Smuthut from Ireland) but major plot points ?

Some had lucky guesses but no-one had everything right. Most of them had 1 or 2 things vaguely correct and the rest was rubbish.

I have to admit...I amuse myself thinking what a phenomenal backlash this would cause from the antis and fanboys.

[Darth_Awakened]

Aaaaaah!

The FAFs are my crack. I'am an addict.

Nothing goes better alongside morning coffee. I even kinda like it in all of its craziness.

@Darth_Awakened

It's a 100x better than a Beautiful Friendship Gang vs. The Evil First Order movie.

@ISeeAnIsland

In any case!

WOO-HOO!

[Saracene]

Reylo love child makes me think of Love Never Dies lol.

[Kylo Rey]

This guy says that IX is set 5 years after TLJ, and that Rey's child is 5 years old. Did she immediately give birth as soon as TLJ ended then?

Another thing is, Rian has said multiple times that his first to last draft of his script didn't change all that much. He also said that the Praetorian Guard fight was one of the earliest things/images he had in mind when working on TLJ. That would be something you would definitely remember looking at a storyboard, and it suggests that even if there were changes, they couldn't have been that wildly different like in his leak. Are we sure it was posted December 2015? Is there a way to check the specific dates on Reddit posts? Because he said Del Toro was playing a bounty hunter and he hadn't even been cast/announced yet.

There's not one single mention of Rose, which is one of the biggest tip offs. Sounds kind of suspiciously like Logan's Run as well (after that rumour).

EDIT: I just checked and there were rumours of BdT being in the film as far back as September 2015, so scratch that.

@Casey Kanata Thanks! I literally just edited my post to include that as I just looked it up.

[Sponsored content]